How to Become a Successful Producer

Step 1: Attend an Ivy League school
Step 2: Win National Player of the Year
Step 3: Be awarded a Rhodes scholarship
Step 4: Join the NY Knicks
Step 5: Help them win their first championship
Step 6: Be voted into the Basketball Hall of Fame
Step 7: Become a 3-term US Senator from NJ
Step 8: Publicly declare American politics "broken"
Step 9: Run for the highest office in the land
Step 10: Lose nomination to the sitting vice-president
Step 11: Become a corporate consultant and investment banker
Step 12: Attend a board meeting in Austin, TX
Step 13: Go see a one-man show
Step 14: Call an old friend who is a Broadway producer
Step 15: Set up backer's audition for your other rich friends
Step 16: Mount show at an Off-Broadway theatre in New York
Step 17: Have NY Times write an article about it